“The Play’s the Thing”

I love toys.


It’s true.  I never really grew out of playing with toys… or accumulating them.  I’m pretty sure that almost every geek in the world can identify with my condition.  We’re a bunch of postmodern Peter Pans and if growing up meant that it would be beneath our dignity to collect or play with toys, then we would just refuse to grow up.

“Where does he get those wonderful toys.”
– The Joker, Batman (1989)

Except that we did grow up.  We just kept our toys.  We also replaced them with newer, flashier, more expensive toys.  We traded in our toy cars for real cars filled with more toys, like GPS systems, satellite radio, integrated hands-free communication, and docking stations for our iPhones.  Some of us have traded in the bicycles of our youth for Harley-Davidson motorcycles (also with lots of onboard gadgets).  We buy (or build) the best computers we can find.  We graduated from our NES or N64 to a Playstation 3 or an XBox 360.  We are suckers for the latest and greatest gadgetry.  As soon as we find out about that new game or gadget is being released, we reserve it.  We stand in line at midnight to be among the first to own it (or some of us wait until the second or third generation is released and all of the bugs are fixed).  I’m not ashamed of this.  I revel in it.  I love the feeling of having a new toy and the anticipation I feel as I bring it home to set-up, plug in, or slip into my drive tray.  Go ahead, admit it.  You love it too.






Not all of our toys are the newest technological gadgets.  We still collect miniatures or action figures.  We prize comic books.  We were excited to pick up our Fallout 3 Collector’s Edition when we found out it would come with a “Vault Boy” bobblehead and a metal lunch box.  Some of us still have our old Transformers toys.  We even play without toys.  Most of the time, if I go out to a bar, I go on trivia night.  Of course, we also have toys we can’t play with, like original Star Wars action figures still in their plastic bubbles on card stock.

“I live in my own little world, but it’s okay, they know me here.”

We’re not alone.  We have friends who marvel over our latest toys and share theirs with us too.  One of my friends has a prop quality Indiana Jones outfit, complete with fedora, jacket, boots and whip (not to mention a complete set of Stormtrooper armor).  They cost him hundreds of dollars to assemble.  Another friend has an Obi-Wan Kenobi ensemble that’s just as complete.  They have gone to fan events, halloween parties, and even marched in parades dressed in their geek finery.  I myself have an impressive collection of Dungeons & Dragons miniatures and more than a dozen sets of gaming dice (and I don’t mean backgammon), not to mention my board games, tabletop gaming books, and of course my video games.  I’m also a model railroader (though I don’t have a layout right now).


If you’re anything like me… and I have to admit to being seasoned with a generous sprinkling of ADD, then you can get a bit… obsessive with toys and gadgets, then forget all about them when the “Next Great Thing” comes along.  A friend showed me his collection of NSD Powerballs about six months ago.  I went out and bought one right away.  They are great for exercising hand, wrist and arm muscles.  It is the ultimate gamer exercise machine (and no, I don’t profit from plugging this product).  I love it, but I’m not nearly as faithful with using it as I should be (either for the exercise benefits or to justify the expense… do I need to justify the expense?).

“Better, stronger, faster.”
– The Six Million Dollar Man (tv series, 1974)

Not only do we buy, collect, and play with our wonderful toys; we sometimes feel the need to modify them… to improve them.  We don’t just play with our toys out of the box.  We overclock them.  We add mods.  We think of ways to make ordinary things more fun, more exciting.  We customize.  This is why we love to beta test things.  If it’s a simple collection, we create a better filing system.  When we moved into our house about five years ago, I converted a fairly large closet into a library.  I took out the shelves and rods and built bookshelves.  I organized my books by type and subject, by alphabetical order, chronologically.  When I was younger, I took the time to index them all on cards with full information (year, publisher, and genre included).

The point really, is that I have a new toy.  I just bought it a few days ago.

I adopted a dog last September.  Before this, I haven’t shared my life and home with a dog since I was a teenager, living at home with my parents.  Back then, it was a Miniature Poodle or a Shih Tzu.  My dog is a Siberian Husky.  Siberian Huskies need a LOT of exercise.  They need to run.  They need to carry things.  They need to pull things.  It is simply what they were bred to do.

I am a geek with a SLED DOG.

I’ve been turning over the options throughout the six months since we adopted Phoenix.  Last week, I made the leap.  I decided that Phoenix and I were going to take up skatejoring.

Skatejoring is a type of urban (or dryland) mushing where the dog pulls the musher (rider or driver), who is standing on a skateboard.  You need to understand that before last week, I hadn’t ridden a skateboard since I was 15.  That’s more years than I’d like to admit.  I chose skatejoring or bikejoring or dog scootering knowing that it is one of the more dangerous forms of urban mushing.  It is recommend only for experienced skaters.  The biggest difference between skatejoring and most other forms of urban mushing is that skateboards don’t have brakes.  A single husky can pull the average person on a skateboard at roughly 20 MPH.  Without brakes.  I haven’t gotten video of Phoenix and I skatejoring yet, but I will soon.  In the meantime, there are some good videos on YouTube, like this one or this one.

After starting our training, I can say that it is one of the most exhilarating things I’ve done in a long time.  Last night, I got Phoenix focused and in the groove for some good runs.  He was responding to verbal and lead commands and starting to really enjoy it.  He’s training me too.  I’ve already learned how to get off the board in a hurry when he loses focus and chases a cat or squirrel (without falling on my face – I haven’t fallen yet… I know I’m bound to eventually, but so far I’m unbroken).  I’ve also learned to navigate the board on or around obstacles like manhole covers and speed bumps.  Maybe I’ll invest in a dog scooter at some point, but for now, you can find me on my skateboard, mushing with my one-dog team.

Have any unusual hobbies you’d like to share?  Just keep it (relatively) clean.
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