Dead-ish: A Geekcentric Guide to Zombies

photo credit: Thomas Hawk

“When there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth.” – Dawn of the Dead (1978/2004)

It’s strange, really.  I’ve never been a huge fan of zombies.  I’m still not.  I can almost count the number of zombie flicks I’ve seen on the fingers of one hand.  I don’t own any Bruce Campbell movies on DVD.  I hated Dead Rising (video game) and have no interest in playing the sequel.  I’ve never participated in a zombie walk.  I’m pretty sure that I Am Legend is the only zombie film in my DVD collection, if it even counts.

I am a fan of horror, particularly the “survival horror” subgenre.  I just never had much use for tropes that I felt were mind-numbingly trite.  I’m more inclined to like horror with more unique takes on the genre (the Silent Hill games, for example – far better than Resident Evil, in my opinion).  I know.  A few months ago, I wrote a piece on vampires.  The vampire is one of those trite horror tropes that just doesn’t evoke fear the way it did for the Victorian crowd.  The zombie is another one of those tropes that just seemed overplayed to me.  Until last weekend.

Before you rip me apart with your dirty, infected fingernails, let me get one thing straight: I am NOT jumping on the zombie bandwagon.  Unless I am.  In which case, give me your worst.

Last weekend, I watched the premiere of AMC’s new series, The Walking Dead.  If you’ve been hiding under a rock somewhere in Little Rock and don’t know what that is, then please watch the trailer:

If you click on the link above the trailer, you can watch the entire first episode for free on AMC’s site for the series.  It is definitely worth the time.

For those of you “in the know” then you’re aware that this series is based on the Image Comics series of the same name created by Robert Kirkman.  It’s been out there as an ongoing comic series since 2003.  But now, it is in a form of media that the general public finds more accessible.  Even as a person who considers myself not to be a huge fan of zombies, this is exciting.

Why is it exciting?  I’m glad you asked.

It’s exciting because there is another horror series on television.  It’s exciting because this one isn’t about vampires (like most of the other ones right now seem to be).  Most of all, it’s exciting because this isn’t a series about zombies.

Wait…  You just said it was.

No, I didn’t.  Go back and read it again.

And stop talking to yourself.

Okay!

The Walking Dead isn’t about zombies.  At least one friend of mine gave up on the show within a few minutes because it wasn’t a hyper crack-monkey-paced high-body-count gorefest where there were dozens of zombies being killed every minute and humans being ripped to shreds constantly by their former fellow homo sapiens (zombie sapiens?).  She said, essentially, that there was too much talking and too much emotion.  In short, it isn’t a 28-style presentation (days, weeks, months, years, whatever).  I also had friends who almost gave up on it because it was too much like a 28.  You really can’t please everyone.

Disclaimer: Although I liked the 28 movies, I’m usually partial to horror that is more internal and psychological, more tension and suspense than visceral gorefests.

The Walking Dead is about ordinary people trapped in extraordinary circumstances beyond their control.  The world has hellishly, freakishly spun far beyond the ken of everyday life.  Now, all you can do is try to survive.  The characters still have hopes, fears (other than becoming a zombie meal), relationships and all of that other stuff that makes us human.  They did not suddenly wake up as zombie-killing machines leaving a trail of headless undead from here to Florida.  There are some instances where they make bad decisions that put them in grave danger.  There are some instances in which they just can’t bring themselves to pull the trigger, even when the target is a zombie.

In short, The Walking Dead is just good old-fashioned solid storytelling.  Watch it.

In the meantime, here is a spoiler-free rundown of some zombie entertainment that has informed my view of zombies and some variations on the genre.  Notice, that I am leaving the Romero films (as well as the 28‘s) off this list.  While this may seem like a travesty to zombie die-hards, let’s face it.  If you’re a zombie geek, you know about them already.  You’ve probably seen them multiple times.  This list will be centered on some newer, non-traditional zombie fare and even some entertainments that may be less well known to fans of the genre.

Here goes:

Cell (novel, 2006 by Stephen King): A technophobic novel in which people receive a cell phone signal that turns them into mindless cannibals.  While they’re definitely not Romero Zombies, since they aren’t undead (re-animated corpses), they act very much like zombies.  King takes the zombie “horde” a step further by introducing a psychic hivemind element.

Dead Space (video game, 2008): This game is combines the sci-fi elements of the Alien movies with zombie-like creatures called necromorphs.  The protagonist is the not-so-subtly-named Isaac Clarke, who finds himself aboard the USG Ishimura with hordes of necromorphs that aren’t dispatched through the standard Romero approach.  Destruction of the brain isn’t the way to go.  The game uses a mechanic called strategic dismemberment.  Isaac literally has to tear the creatures limb-from-limb, using an assortment of mining and engineering equipment re-purposed as weaponry.

I Am Legend (novel, 1954 by Richard Matheson; film, 2007): As is usually the case, I like the novel a bit better than the film.  I particularly like the ending of the novel better than the film ending.  No spoilers here, though.  The novel also inspired several other films, including The Last Man On Earth (1964) and The Omega Man (1971).  In the novel, the creatures are more like vampires than zombies and some vampire tropes are even mentioned or alluded to by Matheson.  The films tend to downplay the vampire angle and make the creatures more like zombies.  In all versions of this story, the creatures are not undead Romero Zombies, but are alive instead.

Left 4 Dead/Left 4 Dead 2 (video games, 2008/2009): Both of these games feature a group of four survivors of a worldwide pandemic that turned most of the world’s population into mindless, flesh-eating monsters.  While they are referred to as Zombies, they don’t conform to many of the Romero Rules and it is unclear whether or not they are actually undead.  Just assume that they are and enjoy the story.  The characters in both of these games have backstories that are revealed through automated dialogue.  They also have a plot, which can be overlooked as you kill thousands of “infected” throughout the various campaigns.  Both games are meant to emulate zombie films in their presentation.

Quarantine (film, 2008): I didn’t really care for this movie very much, though I know many people who liked it.  It is an interesting take on the genre, whether you like it or not.  This movie is based on the Spanish film [rec] and adheres very closely to that film.  Like most post-Romero zombie projects, this film has the creatures created by a virus, rather than by supernatural means (though Romero did explore a virus scenario in The Crazies (1973).  Again, like most of this list, the creatures are not Romero Zombies, because they aren’t really undead.  I found the premise for this film completely ludicrous and thought the decision to spoil the ending in all of the film’s promotional material made actually watching the entire film a waste of time.  Still, there are some excellent individual scenes here, if you can stand the “spastic monkey” handycam-style presentation.

Resident Evil 5 (video game, 2009): This is the only member of the Resident Evil franchise I am including here.  I’m not a fan of the movies and I’m not going to list all of the games in the franchise.  I’m just going to recommend the newest one.  I loved and hated this game, but its contribution to the zombie genre is noteworthy.  The game is best-played as a co-op endeavor with a friend.  It is more of a shooter than a survival horror game, much more action oriented, but still features some pretty freaky and frightening zombies.  Again, they are the result result of a virus, instead of something paranormal.  The biggest drawback of this game, in my opinion, is the contextual prompt control system that launches you into pressing arbitrary buttons to perform tasks and causes a fail condition if you lose at what is essentially a game of “Simon” (do you even remember that one?).  I am of the mindset that the “B” button should do the same thing every time, as should the “A” button, etc.  If I need to throw off a grappling zombie, I should hit the button that is assigned to this task throughout the game, not press “A” followed by tapping the “B” button when on-screen prompts tell me to for no apparent reason, then swizzle the left analog stick for 3 seconds before standing on my head and rubbing my stomach with the controller.  Those mini-games are just frustrating and pointless.  They cause suspension of disbelief to break irreparably and jar me into remembering that I’m just playing a game.  Despite all that, the opening scenes in the African village are some of the best zombie video game action I’ve ever experienced.

The Serpent and the Rainbow (film, 1988): This film is unlike anything else on this list.  It’s a Wes Craven film from more than 20 years ago based on a purportedly non-fiction book about Haitian voodou and “zombies” created through pharmacological means.  While it’s not a great movie, it does present a different type of zombie than most entries in the genre.  Also, the film contains a nausea-inducing torture scene.

Zombieland (film, 2009): Though this film is a comedy, it is also a decent zombie film.  Despite making light of the genre and including some video game-like moments (the onscreen rules reminded me of the objective displays in Splinter Cell: Conviction), the movie is solid and well-made.  Like the Left 4 Dead games, the film features 4 survivors of a pandemic fighting for survival against the zombie hordes.  One of the films biggest contributions to the genre is the lead character’s list of rules for surviving a zombie apocalypse.

What are some of your favorite zombie films/novels/games?  Would you be able to kill a loved one who became a zombie?

Like it or not, zombies seem to be replacing vampires as the mainstream pop-culture horror trope of the day.  Hopefully there won’t be a Stephanie Meyer to muck this one up.  For the record, I’m on Team Wichita.  She could take out both of the Twilight pansies and their waifish fawning minion.

Oh, and if you want to be a survivor, increase your chances by training with ZombieFit and reading this book.  Of course, you may still be infected by the pandemic.

(unofficial fan-made music video of “Zombie Me” by No More Kings)