An Extremely Geeky Happy Birthday (to me)!

A hundred years or so ago, I used to be really excited when it was my birthday. Let’s face it – I like getting gifts! But the older and more ornery that I have become, I tend to look at my birthday with a little bit of disdain. Perhaps more so this year, since 2010 was filled with so much personal suckage.

But the hell with it – it is my birthday, and I get to do what I want. That means taking chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool, and all shooting some b-ball outside of the school.

Or something like that.

If you’re wondering, I’m 6 in cat years, and my piss and vinegar tank continues to overflow with unlimited energy. One of these decades I’m going to slow down and relax.  Until then I have kids to teach, cats to feed, and a book to finish. Then I’ll have breakfast.

A word of warning to idiots:  Trust me, I won’t go away.  I’m turning up the heat and shining a blazing light on lethargic, lazy, soulless, booger-eating blog-writing cockroaches who accept the ugly status quo, spit in the face of common sense and genuflect at the altar of dumb. You will not win; I will.

And since my birthday is so close to New Year’s as it is, this year I’m lumping my resolutions into a gift for myself – so no more “It’s time to quit smoking” fiascoes that did nothing but end in property damage.

This is what I plan to do / not do this year:

• Continue streamlining my junk. I’m a geek. As such, I have a lot of crap lying around that I don’t need. Games, clothes, toys, and odd electronics that don’t serve a purpose need to go to charity organizations.
• To continue to stay away from hipster garbage like Minecraft, Penny Arcade and anything with an “i” in front of it.
• To not get married again. Look, I just don’t want my tombstone to read, “Ross Geller: Three divorces.“
• I’m going to become more demonstrative, more committed, more focused and more determined.
• To see all of 2011′s “Big Geek Movies” on opening night.
• Buy an Android Tablet.

There’s also some interesting things that happened on my birthday, as well:

• 1610 – Galileo Galilei sighted four of Jupiter’s moons. He named them Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto.
• 1782 – The Bank of North America opened in Philadelphia. It was the first commercial bank in the United States.
• 1785 – French aeronaut/balloonist Jean-Pierre Blanchard successfully made the first air-crossing of the English Channel from the English coast to France.
• 1789 – Americans voted for the electors that would choose George Washington to be the first U.S. president.
• 1887 – Thomas Stevens completed the first worldwide bicycle trip. He started his trip in April 1884. Stevens and his bike traveled 13,500 miles in almost three years time.
• 1894 – W.K. Dickson received a patent for motion picture film.
• 1926 – George Burns and Gracie Allen were married.
• 1927 – Transatlantic telephone service Service began between New York and London. 31 calls were made on this first day.
• 1927 – In Hinckley IL, the Harlem Globetrotters played their first game.
• 1929 – The debut of “Buck Rogers 2429 A.D.” occurred in newspapers around the U.S. The title of the comic strip was later changed to “Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.”
• 1932 – Chancellor Heinrich Brüning declared that Germany cannot, and will not, resume reparations payments.
• 1942 – The World War II siege of Bataan began.
• 1949 – The announcement of the first photograph of genes was shown at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles.
• 1953 – U.S. President Harry Truman announced the development of the hydrogen bomb.
• 1975 – OPEC agreed to raise crude oil prices by 10%, which began a time of world economic inflation.
• 1979 – Vietnamese forces captured the Cambodian capital of Phnom Penh, overthrowing the Khmer Rouge government.
• 1989 – Crown Prince Akihito became the emperor of Japan following the death of his father, Emperor Hirohito.
• 1990 – The Leaning Tower of Pisa was closed to the public. The accelerated rate of “leaning” raised fears for the safety of its visitors.
• 1999 – U.S. President Clinton went on trial before the Senate. It was only the second time in U.S. history that an impeached president had gone to trial. Clinton was later acquitted of perjury and obstruction of justice charges.

And I share my birthday with:

• Millard S. Fillmore (13th President of the United States, took over after Zachary Taylor’s death)
• Kenny Loggins (Whooooooooa – cut footloose)
• Erin Gray (Buck Rogers hottie)
• Katie Couric (the only one on 60 Minutes under 90 years of age)
• Nicholas Cage (one of my favorite actors, damn what the haters say)
• Dustin Diamond (Samuel “Screech” Powers)

And to wrap it up – as I do every year on my birthday – here’s my birthday babe, Sarah Michelle Prinze:

You’re also welcome to send me gifts. I like gifts. Or better yet, donate some money to Geekcentricity to help us out with Darren’s new Lamborghini site expenses. That’d be awesome.