Distinction: A Social Critique of the Judgement of Taste

With all apologies to French sociologist Pierre Bourdieu for swiping the title of one of his books, let me get right into the meat of today’s article.

So, then… what is a hipster, exactly?

Well, other than the source of my ire on most days, a hipster is an elusive creature who will never actually admit to being hipster. A hipster is someone who tries to be “hip” and “edgy”. Most importantly and interestingly, the only people not capable of understanding what a hipster is are other hipsters.

So, how do you know if you’re a hipster? Adhere to these warning signs:

• You almost always listen to bands no one else has heard of.
• You wear loafers.
• You wear giant sunglasses. Probably to protect your eyes after too much cannabis.
• You wear a wool cap in warm weather.
• You own not only an iPhone, but an iPad and an iMac, and think Apple makes “good tech”. You do this because of the brand name, not of any actual benefit.
• You wear “skinny jeans”. These look good on absolutely no one.
• You wear tight sweaters. Like skinny jeans, you make yourself  look like you raided the “Blue Box”.
• You refer to your hooded sweatshirt as a “hoodie”. It’s just a sweatshirt.
• You wear a “trucker cap”.
• You wear those funny Yasser Arafat scarves no matter the temperature.
• You own and play Wii.
• You prefer Steampunk to Cyberpunk.
• You buy ironic T-shirts with pop culture references despite not having a clue what they refer to.
• You prefer to Penny Arcade to xkcd, the former being hipster and the latter being geek.
• You collect “urban vinyl” action figures. You know – those expensive hunks of plastic with the big heads.
• You have a Tumblr and /or deviantart page.

You may be thinking, “But… but… I’m a geek, dammit!” Or worse… you might think “I am both a geek and a hipster!”. No. No, you’re not. No one who is a hipster has ever called themselves a hipster.

Then there are those who are not actually hipsters, but are dressed like them by their team of  assistants. This young lady on the left here is one of them. Her record sales then create fashion trends among other young girls to dress like him, creating a strange schism in which hipsters themselves become even more dismissive of that which is popular. This style of dress is unfortunately referred to as “geek chick“, even though it is hipster at the very core and has nothing at all to do with geeks.

Hipsters are cultural parasites that strip away everything that is cool about being a geek and reduce it to a simple superficial entity. Geeks, on the other hand, embrace originality and creativity. Geeks are why we have iPads. Geeks are why we have Facebook. Geeks are why we have D&D.

Now let us look at the guy here on the right. He’s a geek. He may be the absolute undisputed king of all geeks, as a matter of fact. Not only that, Bill Gates is one very likable geek. And what is there not to like?

A Harvard drop-out, he founded the Microsoft empire before setting up the largest charitable foundation on earth. In addition to the £21 billion held in The Gates Foundation, which he runs with his wife, Melinda, he has persuaded the affluent of America – Warren Buffett and Oprah Winfrey included, to give a slice of their fortunes to the world’s poorest.

So what is a geek? Chances are that if you’re a visitor to Geekcentricity, you are one.

Depictions of geeks typically reveal them to be good-hearted people who wish harm on no one, but are bullied by their obvious intellectual inferiors. Many geeks in fiction play roles as supporting characters who provide valuable sources of information or useful skills for the heroes. Geeks as lead characters often have a secret identity as a superhero; in these cases, a put-upon person has a wonderful secret (examples include Peter Parker/Spider-Man and Clark Kent/Superman). Geeks in supporting roles often feature as technological geniuses who invent or repair various devices that enable the main characters to move towards a goal. They also serve as socially inept foils to much more charming main characters, and are sometimes depicted as being lovelorn and longing for attractive females who are beyond their status.

We geeks do what we do because its what we love to do. Our individual geek aesthetic is a byproduct of that. The hipster artificially manufactures their aesthetic for the sake of the aesthetic itself.

That’s why I don’t like hipsters, and that’s why I don’t think that geeks and hipsters can coexist in harmony. But then again, I generally don’t understand anyone under the age of 28.

You see, hipsters are apathetic to everything but one thing – themselves. Geeks, on the other hand, are diametrically opposed to apathy. Geeks love.

And as a final note to this article, I’d like to add that most of it was written sarcastically. It’s sad that I need to end the article on that note, but there are a sad lot of folks out there who are unable to read the difference between “dripping with vile” and “over-the-top sarcasm”. Of course, it is up to you to decide what is actually my opinion, and what was written just to get a rise out of you.

Kinda hipster of me, wasn’t it?